Forgive Me Serenity.
I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck and break him. To see you like that was the worst thing in the world for me. If he had been there… nothing could have stopped me. I would have hurt him. Just as much as he hurt you, by god that fucker would have been in pain. Giving into a temptation that I’ve only felt only once before, God wouldn’t give me such a pleasure. You would hate me. You deserve better then this life. You deserve better then him. You deserve better then me. To see you into my shoulder, feeling you sobbing in my arms. I couldn’t cry because of pure rage. At first I thought it was because Jack was there. But I couldn’t because I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill him for torchuring you and breaking your heart. Too many thoughts were going through my head. I wanted you to stop. I wanted you to stop being broken. I felt the peices in my arms for the first time that day. To kill him would have only brought me pure pleasure. To feel his puny neck in my hands. God. Its impossible for you to compehend how much I need you. The universe can’t reach that far. You are the sister I never had. To grow up with a sister that I lost && to have one that has the balls enough to pick up a broken person, takes alot of love. Yeah. You may not feel this way. And you may find me insane. I might not catch onto too much as I used to. And I might not tell you every single significant thing. But I’ve handed all the trust I can muster to you. When you break or when you’re broken, because of some kid… it kills me because he couldn’t possibly understand. At this point your probably mad. I couldn’t say “I know you love him” to you because this whole mess. Somewhere in my mind I knew I would act this way. I knew that my Knight attacks would get bad enough to where I would hurt someone. Its great how much you haven’t the slightest clue how much I want his blood on my hands. To be going hysterical trying to tell you how much you mean to me.
When you were here before Couldn’t look you in the eye;
You’re just like an angel, Your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather In a beautiful world
I wish I was special You’re so very (fuckin’) special
But I’m a creep I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here…
I don’t care if it hurts I want to have control
I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice When I’m not around
You’re so very special I wish I was special
But I’m a creep I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here…
She’s running out again She’s running out She’s run, run, run running out
Whatever makes you happy Whatever you want
You’re so very special I wish I was special
But I’m a creep I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here. I don’t belong here.
