Captain Jack VI.
Today, my g-ma had a stroke. I was in the hospital all day. My cuzn wanted to come down with me, to see me. To meet Jack. She got the oppertunity.
We snuck to the park on the way home. Just the two of us. I was all butterflies, not knowing what to expect. I was jumpy and excited, nervous and anxious. I had made myself sick, wanting to puke all of which I had nothing in my stomach at the very thought of this meeting. My cuzn and I pull up and two band kids pull up. We talk, Cuzn tries. Then Jack and another band kid appears. Cuzn and I watch them play Raquet ball. Cuzn is trying to give me hints to try and expose myself to him. Give him subliminal flirting hints. I laugh and shake my head. “Be myself” I kept telling her. One of the band kid’s mom called them and wanted them home. Jack makes the band kid he bought, go home with them. They leave. Cuzn, Jack, & I go to the playset. Me and Jack are on the swings. I try to make it not happen. At this point I dont want to know what he wants to say. I dont want to know what he has to say. Cuzn gets a call from her dad, we lie. “I have to shower anyways. I’m not pretty,” her excuse to go home. “So… I think u should go ahead so I can talk to Rae.” My stomach dropped. My heart beats slightly faster. I walk beside him, slowing my pace. “So basically, I think you should forget about me.” Walls. My walls shoot up like fucking rockets. I’m shielded with numbness before any pain can even get a head start. He goes into a monologue about how he and his exgirlfriend are talking again, and might hook up. “It makes me happy to know she doesnt hate me. How we just miss each other.” I hear and accept all of this information, although I truely really just wanted to claw his eyes out. “We’ll hang out tomorrow right?” God how I wanted to cry. I wanted to jump into Cuzn’s truck and run his fucking ass over. “Yeah. I’ll call you.” I reply. I call Serenity. I tell her this: “With my luck, I am Molly. Damien picked you. But with my luck… I was destined to be denied because you got Damien.” Not as though it was her fault, it just seemed like a good analogy to go on. Pardon me, I was in an undescrible mood. Then I call Blake. I tell her the update. She wants to yell at him. “I didn’t pull myself out of the equation so he can go off and go with [her]. I would rather him date me then her! This doesn’t sit well with me.” And so forth. At least one of us wants to kick his ass. I decide that Nina would be online and I would tell her online. Blake told me I was “upset”. I went with that and let her go. I sit around and linger. I decide to shower. I’m yelling at him the whole time. I nik myself shaving and think. I think real hard. And I successfully resist and hold back a wall of pain that has been held back by my wall. I wipe the blood and get out. I dress and get on myspace to read a bulletin from the exgirlfriend.
Where is the person you want most?
Idk where he’s at exactly.
But he’s in a diff state.
Who was your last call from?
Jack. -_-
Where is your ex?
Don’t care too much.
Do you miss him/her ?
Not alot.
Are you moved on ?
Jeez.
I laugh hysterically at this. I laugh at how I was rejected a second time because of this. I laugh at how much pain he would be in at the sight of this. I laugh at the mear fact that I actually let my wall down for this character and he rejected me… twice and that this is payback. Someone somewhere loves and hates me. XD. I’m no longer hurt. I await for him to meet with me later.
I’m not mad or upset. A bit hurt, but I guess its normal.
You told me not to give up. I didn’t. And now this.
I am rejected… for a second time.
Thanks. Now I have a reason to put my walls up.
It was you who I put my walls down for. Now I guess it was all for nothing.
Read her bulletin. Then tell me if it was worth it. *Laughs Hysterically*.
But now I guess… there is no more Jack. No more Butterfly Man. No more of this.
I hope we can be Friends.
A bulletin I sent shortly after I read her bulletin. I hope he gets it. I hope we can be friends. I hope he realizes that not even Kaitlin got a third chance. I hope so. God I hope so.
