Xxshadowraexx’s Weblog

Yeah. Graduation!!! =D. Yay. Now for another long post. =]. You know you like it. =P.

All week we [[the seniors of course]] had been practicing walking for graduation. And today we finally put it to good use. =].

In the morning, I was woken up by my middle sister, who was on the phone with my step sister.
“Call your friends to see if they have extra tickets.” WTF?! I was instantly pissed off. Because 1. I was woken up for a shitty question. And 2. Grrrrr. I just was. Because, we only get 8 tickets and mine were already taken.
1. Mom.// 2. Stepdad.// 3. Dad.// 4. Oldest Sister.// 5. Brother-in-Law.// 6. Middle Sister.// 7. Baby Sister.// 8. Cousin.
And suddenly my stepsisters want to come. I was so pissed off because, let’s face it, it knocked off my mojo.
“They don’t have any. Everyone wants extra tickets.” I growled.
I couldn’t go back to sleep because my heart was pounding from being pissed, so I got up and checked the phone and Blake called. INSTANT HAPPINESS! =D
“Bruh! Wanna go get a P’Zone wich me?” God! I love her.
I hesistated because my sisters and brother were in and I didn’t want them to feel abandoned. So I asked “Would be cool if I ran away for an hour?”
“That’s fine.”
“Oh. I thought you were still sleeping.”
Both which meant yeah, so I told Blake yes. I got dressed and then she came over.
Being that she bought the outfit, she wanted to see the Cap&&Gown on me, er… in general. And we recently discovered that she’s three inches shorter then me. [[WHO KNEW?!]] So the “gown” came shorter then it should have and of course… fucking bridget… I looked like a fucking cow with my fucking hips. The gown was not so loose on my fucking-hips as it was supposed to be. But that’s my fault because 1. I’m a cow. && 2. She’s shorter and its her’s. && 3. I was too scared to ask my parents for cap&&gown money. Yeah I know I shouldn’t have been scared to ask. Shut up. But it all worked out. Because Blake no longer goes to school and has no use for it. So I wore it instead.
So when I was done calling myself a “fucking cow” we went to Pizza Hut where we met up with one of Blake’s lovers…. well… Wishful-wannabe-lovers. He likes her but he doesn’t have a chance. He was okay. Shy, like all the rest of them, he didn’t talk because I was there. Maybe because he’s a jew. =P. [[Not really.]] But, we got P’Zones and we went to the park to eat them. Sitting on the ground and stoooff. She mostly paid attention to me because she didn’t like the kid and loves me. =DD. It was just the two/three of us, until!! I get a text frrrrooooommmm… *drumroll*…. Jasmine, My “hubby”. =]
TWIST!! Blake actually has a thing for Jasmine’s brothuh. And She/we are super worried that it’ll be awkward if the thing with Jasmine’s brother works out and Jasmine doesn’t like it, which to me, shouldn’t be because she doesn’t care who her brother dates, but theres always that paranoia.
After we finished our P’Zones, we sat and talked to the guy for a bit, who obviously liked her. Sucks to be him!!! HAHAHAHAHA!… I mean… >.>… Awh. We went back home after a while, then she left to go home for a bit. But meanwhile, Jasmine came over. =].
The point of Jasmine coming over was to discuss her brother with Blake, buuuuuuutttt… Blake left before she got there and returned after she left. Her excuse “got caught up on something”… not a clue what that means… I asked if her I wanted to know and she said no, so I let my imagination at work. While Jasmine was over I redid her nails and looked over a trash mag that I practically knew everyone in. [[THERE WAS A PICTURE OF HUGH JACKMAN! =DDDD]]
She left and I started to straighten my hair, since the time was 3 and I needed to be at the school by 4. Blake came in and I finished and straightened hers too. After we finished I put my gown and cap on and all the bling that went with it and left, running a couple minutes behind.
I got to the school and I was perfect timing, everyone was already there. So I lingered with my group, feeling whole like I always do. It was weird to see Nina though. Not seeing her everyday… it was weird. But I felt good when I saw her, even though she teased me in the mean way she does. =]. Serenity was quiet. Everyone else was off else where. But I was with Nina and Serenity. =D.
We finally lined up for graduation and I was happy. I stood two people behind Jasmine, with a football player between us, but he didn’t stop us from chatting away. Although… I can’t help but to find him a bit… nvm… I don’t want to get yelled at for my bad taste even more so then I already do. XP. We got in there exactly how they rehearsed and we waited two hours for the ceremony. So many people cried, and I almost did too, especially during a song that was being performed during it from a redneck on a guitar. The lump reallllyyy hurt, but I didn’t. But everyone else was. But I stood strong… ish. =]. A couple of the girls that gave speeches broke before they even spoke their first words. I finally got my diploma. Thank effing god! Graduted with honors. =].
Ended up going:
1. Mama// 2. Stepdad.// 3. Oldest sister.// 4. Middle sister.// 5. Stepsister.// 6. Dad.
And thats it. So… I had 2 unused tickets… I kinda felt like shit because someone could have used them… but whatever.
After we went outside and threw our hats, I was in instant search for my family. My feet were kiiillliiinnnggg me. I caught Jack first. I ran to him and practically glomped him. I was just about to warn him of my Mom’s camera before… she showed up and snapped one. =]
Then I found Serenity and took one. =]
Jasmine.
Then Nina.
Then my family decided they were hungry and wanted to go to Beef o’Brady’s in the next town. We went home to pick up my Brother-in-law and my younger sisters and my phone… where I had a voicemail from a friend wishing me a happy graduation, saying that I should have stayed at the school a little more… but… I felt bad cause I didn’t. But I might hang out with them later. Maybe. =]
So we get to Beef’s and SMOOCH IS THERE!… I attack him naturally. =]. I hung out by his table and talked to his mom and family, then went back to mine and stuff.
We were eating when my middle sister was like “The Smooch family is leaving” I turn around and they’re all coming toward me. I hug his mom and his sister. I see him walking away and I reach to grab his shirt and drag him back to me. I put my head into his chest.
“I love you. Do you love me?”
“Yes.” =D
I let him go and I watched him walk away. I fear that itll be the last time I see him for a while. My Smooch. =[
I finish my dinner, we take a couple more pictures [[Mom, Stepdad, 5 sisters, Brother-in-law, and myself.]] and leave after deciding that we are going to get alcohol and go to G-ma’s to watch some sort of basketball? game?

The night went well. =]
Espeically after Orange Juice and… Heeee. =]. Just one glass. =P

Part 1: Before Prom:
Waking up at 9:30 to my stepsister calling to check in, I got up and re-warmed up my coffee, the most essential thing that human life needs more then oxygen itself. Filling it up with creamer and sugar, I sat by my Mom and listened to the rest of the conversation. Mom and I finished the episode of America’s Next Top Model that Mom was watching and then Mom went to the store. It was about 10:30 or something along this time.
Home alone, [[Court at the neighbor girl’s house and stepfather at work]], I finished watching the Jennifer Garner movie I had been watching, Catch and Release. A good movie by the way. I had only seen it once before so I recorded it and watched it. I liked it a lot like I did the first time. Of course I like Jennifer Garner, she’s duh bomb diggity. After I finished the remaining 40 minutes of Catch and Release and then started on The Crow.
And WOW! The Crow! Is just so effing amazing that I squeal. No joke. One will die if one has not seen it. If you haven’t seen it… get to it. I had only seen it once with Serenity. =]
But then… my oldest sister called. She went to see the new Wolverine movie and didn’t understand some of it. Being a HUGE nerd and Hugh Jackman fan, I understood every detail. Although, I didn’t like how Cyclops was in the movie. Really? Wolverine didn’t know Cyclops beforehand… at least not for my knowledge. Oh, and if you haven’t seen the movie, its that big of a giveaway, the red lasers and the building, yeah that’s Cyclops. Don’t bitch at me. I saw it the day it came out. =]. Thank you Nina. =D
BUT! I was explaining the movie to her when Blake called in. I flashed over and we talked for a second and then I went back to finish explaining the movie and Star Trek. Took 10 minutes. T.T. I went back to Blake.
Blake was all: If I can get someone to cover for me I can go to dinner with ya’ll, which to me… is the shit. I was so happy, but I didn’t want to get too excited because, what if she couldn’t come?
Dinner plans originally: Serenity, Damien, Nina, and I.
But over the course of a couple days we got Smooch, Winifred, and Kit to join. And then at the moment, we got Blake to join. Smooch’s best friend, Mac, wouldn’t join us [[nor would he even at prom]].
I spoke to Blake for about 20 minutes before Nina called in to tell me she’ll be picking up Kit and be on her way to my abode. And then… Court called from the neighbor’s house on the other line. Blake left, freeing the other line for her to call. She asked if Mom was home, which she wasn’t. After I finished with Court, I called Blake back. I didn’t ask why she left, which was probably because I constantly left her waiting. I wanted to apologize but none of it was my fault!!! But, I did anyways, because I did want to talk to her and I did want her to come to dinner.
After a while, we got off the phone with each other so she could go call that one chick to see if the girl will take the shift off her hands. I got up to change into my bathing suit top since I knew we were going to swim as soon as Kit and Nina get there and I was too lazy to put a bra on. After I put the bathing suit top on, I watched a little more of The Crow until Mom came in. Your friends are here. Sure enough, behind her were Nina and Kit.
We were traveling down the road and I told Kit, ‘That’s Rae’s mom. Well maybe not.’ But then we turned on the road and turns out it was.We helped with the groceries Mom got us. I took allergy medicine and we all changed into our bathing suits.
Talk about fun. Let me tell chu about attempting to teach Kit to swim. Kit can’t swim. It’s not her fault. Her dad has this weird paranoia, since she has a hole in the side of her head, literally, a small one by her ear, and her uncle did too, and he drowned, her dad has a paranoia that she will too. So, she never really learned to swim. So, Nina, me, Court, and Court’s friend, the neighbor girl, tried to teach Kit to swim, my mom tanning on the pool deck. We tried to teach her to float, which worked until she couldn’t maintain to keep her head up. And then she forgot to come up for air… WHO FORGETS TO COME UP FOR AIR?!?!?!? T.T.
But! After swimming/teaching for about an hour and a half, we all got out and ate pizza that mom got us. Then we took turns showering, since it was time to start getting ready for Prom.
It was about 3 something around this time. We needed to start getting our hair done at 4.
My mom is amazing. She’s talented and social. She’s great and can do hair like a beast. So, she did my hair, deciding that my hair had been straightened so much that it can’t even hold a curl made by a curling iron anymore, unless it was large. So the style she picked for me, was pretty, went well with my dress.
Then she did Nina’s. It was Nina’s idea to get our hair done by Mom. I wanted to get it professionally done. But I had told Nina about how Mom had done my middle sister, stepsister, and my stepsister’s friend’s hair a couple years ago, and she wanted her hair done by Mom too. Ugh. And being since she wanted her hair done by Mom, I had to get mine done too. So, I compromised. And I don’t regret it.
As Mom was doing Nina’s, Kit was straightening her hair, which helped ALWOT before Mom and I got a hold of it and finished straightening it, although yeah… Mom did a shitload more then I did. And when Mom was done with Kit, she was by far the most sexiest thing on the planet. Hands down. No joke. She was hot. She has deep chocolate skin that not a lot of girls have these days and an amazing shade of blue/green/turquoise dress that couldn’t have been more perfect for her.
Then… To top it all off Blake called. She could come to dinner but couldn’t make it to prom since she didn’t get a hold of the people she needed to get a hold of to go. But she made her way to my hizouse where she helped Nina put make up on, and put on her prom dress from last year, since she didn’t buy a new one to go this year, nor was she going. It was really purty.
She left to go to one of her friend’s house and then decided to meet us up at the restaurant. I called Serenity and Damien, they were already there, and had been for 40 minutes already, waiting for a table for 8 to be cleared. Kit and Nina put glue on nails on my fingers and then we left, joining the rest of the group at the table.
We got there and the whole group was there already.
Serenity was so pretty! =D. She had her hair done, a curly ponytail that couldn’t have been done any better. I wanted to touch it, but didn’t in fear that I would break the beauty. Her dress was black and white and so flattering for her porcelain white skin.
Winifred wore a bright orange/red dress that had a V cut to it, her hair curly as well, pulled into a twist that was like a volcano of curls. She was so small and cute.
Nina had a sky blue dress that matched her new tattoo. It reminded me so much of Cinderella, even though Nina had SO MUCH more fashion senses. It was purty and shiny.
Blake wore a golden strapless one that I wanted because it looked like something that Belle would wear. XDD. I didn’t tell her that, nor anyone else… cuz… I’m an idiot. XD. But it was fitting and purty.
THEY WERE ALL PRETTY! =D
Damien wore black and white to match Serenity. He wore complete black except a white tie. He pulled it off.
Smooch wore pink, white, and black that matched didn’t go with Winifred but it still looked good on him. His tie was pink. That’s it…. From my knowledge.
We all order salad and soup. It was what we all agreed on getting. The cheapest thing on the menu. Breadsticks were already on the table, free? I think. It’s an Italian restaurant there WILL be free breadsticks.
It was all pretty good as were the pictures that were taken.
And no I wasn’t the one to suggest dessert. And I did not want the chocolate fudge/mousse that did not taste amazingly great. And I did not try the three other desserts that went around the table… oh wait… I don’t think I tried the cheesecake… I MEAN!!! THERE WAS NO AMAZINGLY DELICOUS DESSERT! XD
BUT! At this point, it was 830. Or so. The original plan was to be at prom by 8:30, being fashionably lately late.
But I still had to go by my grandmother’s since she lived, quite literally down the road 4 and half minutes. I felt obligated to go over there and allow her a couple snapshots.
We left the restaurant, meeting outside. The whole 8 of us. My favorites and best friends all together for what seemed like the last time ever. I found myself thinking, wondering if it would be the last time. Sadly, I believe it will be.
College is coming up and we will be parted, no matter how much we want it to be different.
Serenity is going to St. Leo.
Nina is going USF.
Blake is going to a church college. [[Sorry love, the name slipped my mind.]]
Smooch is either going with Nina or staying with me to the local college.
Damien and Winifred are still underclassmen and are staying for a couple more years. Especially Damien.
Kit, I’m not too entirely sure what she’s doing with her life.
Blake needed to go home, since she couldn’t come to prom with us, even though she looked amazing in her dress.
They said her goodbyes.
I probably won’t see ya’ll for a while. Except you of course. – Blake Directly To Me.
I pull her in for a hug and stay there for as long as I could before she pulled away. Everyday, I worry when will be the next time I see Blake. She’s my special child. She’s the exception to all my rules. I don’t see her everyday nor do I talk to her everyday. I wish I did, like I used to, just to know if she was okay. I know she has this whole other life that doesn’t involve me. I worry but it’s what she needs. Someone she worries about worry about her.
It took everything I had to walk away from her and say bye. I told her I loved her and walked away to the rest of the group.
Being that I still needed to go to my grandma’s and Damien and Serenity hadn’t an idea where they were going, we agreed that they would follow Smooch and Winifred, as Nina, Kit, and I went to our destination.
We get to my grandmother’s, I greet both of my grandparents, introducing them to both Nina and Kit. We take pictures, and then off to Prom we go.

Part 2: At Prom:
Nina, Kit, and I arrive at 9, an hour late.
And the first thing I see is Jack! And he looked really cute. He looked so gentleman like and he still had the little flower in his pocket, he looked so put together. I smile and walk up to him. Fucking hormones.
“Hey hot stuff. Having fun?” I asked him, smiling at him. Fucking… Ass…. Fucking WHORE!
He said yeah and asks if we just got there. I nodded, and let him off with Jolene who wore a T-length dress, layered and black. She came up to me and poked my dress, looking at the detail of my dress. But then I noticed what she was really doing.
She was showing off her corsage that had little roses in it. I rubbed it to see that it was real. I looked at her, a huge smile on her face. He swooped in and kissed the side of her head. Forcing a smile, I left them to find the table that Serenity and Damien were sitting at, in the back right, Nina traveling behind me, Kit gone within two seconds.
Mentally, I beat myself with open palms like I always did when he was around. I made my way to them and set my camera and ticket down.
“Where’s Kit? We need to take pictures.”
She left with someone. – Nina.
“Dammit.”
Well, let’s go. If she’s not there, I’ll just change the order. – It may have sounded bitchy, but really? Kit knew we were going to do pictures. Plus, at this point the shoes were killing me like beasts.
Nina and I went to the pictures order form, Kit wasn’t there. Well shit. Really Kit?!
We beat you! – Serenity putting on a funny face while she and Damien were at the picture order table as we enter the miniroom. I smile at her and stick my tongue out at her. They go up as Nina refills her form out.
I pull off my shoes and walk up stairs, watching Nina behind me, who has a stair phobia. I make it to the top and wait for her to make it to me before I watch away and watch the last of Serenity and Damien’s shoot. Nina joins me and we wait for them to finish and then the couple that was between them and us.
First, Nina goes on, her parents wanted a photo of just her. Then I joined. They took one snap and we were good done deal. With the photos we get a certain amount of photos of various sizes, but I was in it for the keychain. There will be a keychain of our photo. I will stick it on my key ring and it will be mine. =]. I look forward to that keychain.
We go down stairs, be place our shoes on the table where Serenity and Damien were, and Nina and I go out to the dance floor where Smooch, Winifred, Kit, Ashley, and Tabitha were. They were getting their funk on, and I joined them.
For a man that is so fucking twiggy, Smooch was smooth on the floor. If one were to look up “cutting floor” in the dictionary, a picture of Smooch would be there. Rap songs he was all up and down, as if he had a shot of Redbull directly to his heart. Slightly slower songs, he was with Winifred.
Even some songs Serenity had dragged Damien over to the dance floor.
By the second song, I had a drip of sweat riding down my leg, working them more then I usually did, or maybe it was just hot. I was hot. XD. =]
We took pictures, Nina and I, of our friends that we ran into. So many faces, I would forever remember as people I knew in high school. People whose faces I would remember until I died, but not their names.
About halfway through, I heard my name and a tap on my arm, I turned to see my uncle. An uncle that I rarely get to see except a couple times a year, like twice. He’s my Dad’s sister’s ex-husband, my cousin’s father. I was so shocked at seeing him that I hugged him three times. I was so happy and surprised to see him. =]
The music, all of which I knew, and I danced to as much as I could.
I danced and danced, like the Lady Gaga song, until I smelled the familiar scent that could only be one person, Serenity.
I turned around to see her and Damien.
We’re gonna go.
“What time is it?”
11:20 [[or something around that time.]]
Keep in mind that it was over at 12. I bit my lip, and whimpered. But that didn’t stop them. We stopped dancing and Nina and I walked them to the door.
Nina and I walked over to the table and fiddled with our cameras for a couple minutes, before Smooch and Winifred came over to collect their stuff.
We left when it ended.
“If you think I wanna know this, where are ya‘ll going?”
To a dark corner. – Smooch.
“Nice.” XD “Bye. Love ya’ll.”
They left and we fiddled with out cameras even more. Until Gavin came over and suddenly.
Gavin, how do you feel about dancing with me? – Nina.
NINA SCORED!!! I watched as they walked away and disappeared into the crowd of people.
I stood up and went on a not-so-random walk toward the other side of the building, where I sat opposite of Jack and Jolene.
Jolene and I talked about a slow kid at that goes to our school that is in the band with the three of us about how he might have had a slight case of autism, which was obvious to everyone who knew of such a thing. We talked about senior skip dad, Jack and I. I stayed with them as long as I could stand it, until a slow song came on and they got up.
It was the last time I saw them that night.
I went back over to see Nina sitting by herself, fiddling with her dress. I smiled, a relief from what I had sat ten minutes through. I sat across the table from her, like I had been.
11:40.
How would you feel if I went outside?
“Fine.”
She collected her stuff, her shoes, and purse.
“Are you going with Gavin or by yourself?”
Just come out to the car in a few minutes.
She gave her answer and left.
For the first time that night, I was alone. As peaceful as it was, I wanted company and I had no one. Not that I didn’t enjoy it because I have to say… Go Nina. =]. I was proud of her. =D

Part 3: After Prom:
12:00. Prom was over. I collected our shit, and went out to the car. Nina wasn’t there. My first thought was that she must have gone to look for me, although I knew better.
Kit caught up with me at the car and we went back inside to look for Nina and get our senior prom gift bags. I saw my uncle in the corner and I gave him another hug and told him about a graduation shindig I might be throwing the day after graduation. He said he might come.
Nina no where in sight.
Kit and I go back to the car and Nina is there now. Okay. Cool. =]
Nina and I go back to get a gift bag and then go back to the car.
We take Kit home first. Then we go to Sunoco and get me a Redbull.
On the way home, I get a text from a friend. And we talk all the home and more.
Its 1:30 when I get home.
I wish Nina good night and go inside.
My texting buddy and I talked until 4:15 when I clocked out.
Prom was over.

Part 4:
IT WAS THE SHIT! =D.