Shake It Off.
It’s Been Quite Some Time
Since I’ve Posted Anything.
So, I Thought I Would.
Mostly Because…
Something Is Wrong.
Not Too Sure What.
And It Scares Me.
I Can’t Feel Anything.
Those I’m Around A Lot,
I.E. My Coworkers,
Find Me Always Angry,
Pissy, On-Guard.
I Don’t Know Why.
I Understand,
I Was Doing My Woman Thing
Two Weeks Ago.
But The Past Few Days,
Four Or Five,
Nothing.
I’m Going To See My Housepet,
Officially.
We’ve Made The Plans,
I’ve Saved The Money,
I’m Preparing My Car.
I’m So Excited!
But I Can’t Feel It.
Mentally, I’m Excited.
Like, After Four Months,
I Miss His Face. Lol
But…
My Body Is All Blah.
I’m Seeing Nina, For The First Time,
In Six Or Seven, More, Months,
I Can’t Seem To Conjure Physical Happiness.
I’ve Missed Her.
I Feel Like, I’ve Cut Myself
Out Of So Many People’s Lives.
I Haven’t Been Meaning To.
It Seems Like The Only Time
I Get A Reaction…
Is When I See Mr. J.
I Saw Him Earlier.
I Wanted Nothing More But To
Spend More Time With Him.
I Miss Him.
But, I Deserve So Much More.
Rumors Are Going Around Work,
That A Coworker/Friend And I Are Together.
I Know What’s True And What’s Not.
So They Don’t Bother Me.
It’s Fun To Joke Around.
Rumors That We’ve Been At It For A While.
That We’re Showering And Fucking.
I Think It’s Funny.
This Kid, He’s A Good Guy…
Psychotic.
He Dated A Coworker/Friend,
And He Tossed Her Around,
And Stole Her Debit Card & SS Card.
It Was Bad.
He’s Psychotic.
So I Know Better Then To
Touch That Thing With A 10 Ft Pole.
I Don’t Think I Trust Anyone Anymore.
I Think This Whole Thing,
Started When I My Chick Friend/Coworker,
I Thought That She Had Almost Left Me.
She Tried To Reassure Me,
“I’m Not Like Others,” She Says. “I Won’t Leave.”
Yeah, That’s What They All Say.
I Feel Alone.
It Sucks, That
One Has To Have Broad Shoulders
To Love Me.
She Wouldn’t Have Been The First To Leave,
As Ya’ll Who Keep Up Read.
My Best Friend Left.
It’s No Big Deal Anymore.
I Think I Just Sorta Let Her Go.
She’s Far Happier Without Me,
One Hopes, That She’s Happy.
My First Love Also Left.
He Didn’t Just Break My Heart,
He Broke My Soul.
And I Was The Only One To
Pick Up The Shards Of Glass.
I Appreciate Everyone Who Tried To Help,
But Nothing They Said, Worked.
I Was Alone, The Whole Process.
Kit Was Going Through The Same Thing,
So She Couldn’t Help, Because,
Until Recently, Her Situation Was Better.
She Always Believed Things Would Work.
I Knew Differently.
I Didn’t Have Hope.
Nor Anything To Look Forward To,
But Another Day Of Finds Scattered Shards.
I’ve Been Trying To Find The Truth In:
“Make Yourself Happy, Then Others.”
I’ve Been Trying.
And For A Little Bit, It Was Working.
I Was Happy.
But Then This Shit Happens,
And I’m Not Panicing.
I’m Not Feeling Anything,
Except Scars Reopening.
I Only Feel Things When I’m Drunk.
And That’s Not Something I Want To Do
Everytime I Wanna Feel Something.
This Too Shall Pass,
I Suppose.
Maybe I’m Just Feeling Leftovers From
Being A Woman.
Or Maybe I Just Need To Get Laid. Lol.
Whatever It Is…
It’ll Pass.
