Xxshadowraexx’s Weblog

Motion City Soundtrack [cd] – Even If It Kills Me.
Beauty & The Beast [dvd].
SafetySuit [cd] – Life Left To Go.
Ellen Hopskins [book] – Identical.
The Crow [dvd]. [1st one with Brandon Lee.]
Across The Universe [dvd].
Sonic and The Secret Of Rings [Wii Game.]
Paramore [cd] – Riot!
Death Note [dvd]. [Live Action. 2008.] [Shy&Ash].
Secondhand Serenade [cd]. [*cough* SHAINA! *cough*]
iPod Nano 8 GB [Silver perfered] [3rd gen.]
Charlaine Harris [book] - Dead Until Dark.
Saw 1-4 [dvd].
Jason Mraz [cd] – We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things.

This is supposed to be on Myspace… But… I don’t like to post blogs on myspace anymore… I’ve scrambled them [no particular order] so you don’t really know which one is you… ur screwed. Sooo here it is:

1. Ah. It is your turn. There has been so much shit going on. It’s all confusing. It’s all so confusing. I wish I could just make it go away. You don’t care about it anymore; I don’t think you even consider it anymore. You probably don’t even think of me anymore. I’m glad we became friends. You’re very important to me. By far one of my favorites.

2. There’s a little amount I can say about you. I didn’t think we’d be such good friends. And at first I feared that I was using you unconciously. We had shit in common. && I loved it. But I was afraid I was using you for entertainment in my classes and for your smarts. But when you were gone, I knew I liked you, because I worried. XD. =]. I wanted to come to his funeral. But I think I left out of town. You were gone for two weeks. I worried. I’m glad we became friends. You bring retarded laughter back into my life. You tell me that its okay to be retarded sometimes. I like it alwot. =D

3. Light of my Life. You mean to me what those words are supposed to mean. Just entering into a room, my comfort level shoots up. Even if you’re upset with me. I literally feel as if the world lights up whenever you smile. It makes me feel as though the room gets warmer, like the sun. My heart becomes a regular beat. Almost complete. I’m sorry I’m possessive. I do it cause I love you to an unbelieveable extent.

4. When I was in middle school, I actually thought I would never see you again. Ninth grade didn’t help. But when The Destroyers were united once more, I was more then excited to see you. I hadn’t a fuking clue what to say to you. So I started off with the universal conversation starter: your accessories. You wore that idiotic Naruto thing. You are the world’s largest idiot. But you are by far one of my favorites. I love you. It sucks ass that we don’t get to hang out as much as I wish we do. T.T. BUT WE WILL! WE WILL! THE DESTROYERS WILL RISE AGAIN!

5. It’s impossible how much I have to remind you that you too mean the world to me. I hate that you think that if you leave my life will be at a satified level. I need you. I have friends for different reasons. You’re reason is to put logic to my emotion. Yeah, you lose it sometimes. But that’s okay. We must all have our times. It just sucks when we have it at the same time. XD. But we’ll survive.

6. Oh How its been so long, and yet you play a crucial role in my play called Life. I remember as if it was yesterday the first time I saw your face. I was young, naive, had no fuking clue how much you would mean to me. Didn’t think much of you except for the fact that you knew what you were doing and I hadn’t a clue. Wow. Has it really been that long? God. I wish to see you. I wish to wrap my arms around you. I owe you so much. I owe you for being there whenever I needed someone to talk to, and actually put up with my shit, although I know I was a total bitch at times. I feel bad for what I had made you do. Forgive me. I know you don’t think of it anymore, since you… you know, preoccupied. We have different lives. I wish our lives entwined more. I’d be at peace.

7. Wow. I never knew how much I could care for someone in such a little time. It’s like… wow. I completely adore you. It’s impossible. You’re always smiling. It’s like you know the most amazing thing to say. Your gorgeous! I love it! Your everything I wish I was. I hate you. NO WAIT! *huggles* *whispers 1 secret magic word that makes the world spin*. =]. I la u bunches.

8. Oh Darlin, take a bow. You have enchanted me with your words for so long. You basically had my world in your hands. You meant everything to me. When you left, you took everything from me. You ruled my world for too long. You were the star of the play. You’ve scarred me with your performance. I gave you love. And I know you gave it back to me. But “I Love You” && “I’m Sorry” don’t cover everything. Close the curtain; You’re act is for shit now.

9. I love how we have so much in common, its not even close to funny. =D. You’re great. You really are. I’m sorry I haven’t come to terms with things. But I’ll try my damnest, I really will try. It’ll take a bit warming up to. But I would like to be on better terms. I know you don’t notice. But I don’t want to survive the rest of our friendship on thinking that things aren’t the way they should be. You’re great with words, maybe one day you’ll say the right thing to win me over. I look forward to hearing those words. =]

10. I don’t even talk to you anymore, and its amazing how much you affect my actions. It’s amazing that you still make my heart stop at the very thought of you. Its unreal. You’re the only person I haven’t forced out of my life from my old life and yet we hardly see or talk to each other. It’s like I don’t even matter. It’s like you don’t know the affect on me. It makes me go hysterical. You make me go hysterical. I guess its why I’ve toned down on you so much. I don’t like going hysterical. XD. My new life is helping me think less of you. No… like.. I don’t think of you as often as I used to. We have seperate lives. But, god, how I love you. Asshole.

You have inspired me today. Although you didn’t stay long, you said something that inspired me to move on from Jack. You told me that you were “finding a new love interest”. It was quite odd, how this one out of all of the ones I’ve heard/watched you go through, changed me. These past few weeks, as we all know, have been hell for me, espeically with this Jack character standing in the way. My stomach rolled at the sight of him, I would constantly be thinking of ways to wave around my day to see how many times I could at least get a glance of him, how I would make myself sick because he wasn’t with me but with some other chick. It was horrid. Its not a stupendious way to live, and I hated every minute of it. I hate liking someone because of the way my body reacts when I see them or when their around. I hate it. Its the soul reason why I don’t allow myself the pleasure of having crushes. Just the way that you live your life, I wish I lived. Although you have things that you don’t let the world see, you still live as though you haven’t had your “bad” days. I love how you can do that. You’re always laughs and smiles around me. It cheers me up. You don’t even have to try. Its like a 6th sense. =D. I wish I could go up to someone and start conversation, and I think I shall try. I’ve been saying this for the longest time. But new times call for new adventures. =]. I shant not forget my friends, I hope they travel with me. Since I am totally dependant, almosty parasite like to ya’ll, I need ya’ll to travel with me. Like Food. I need ya’ll to survive.

It truely has been destiny.
I love you. Womb.

You Can Count On Me
To Be There
Whenever I’m Needed.
No Matter Where Our Seperate Paths May Lead.
You’ll Always Be Close.
Never More Than
A Thought, A Prayer, A Heartbeat Away.